Laugh at Yourself and Stick it to The Man

I’m like every other person. I hit rough patches where I wish life was all champagne wishes and caviar dreams. I pray for less credit card debt and more mad money. The recession has impacted my family like many others, and I stubbornly pass the gas pumps riding on fumes as I curse their soul-sucking, money grubbing powers. (Patooie!)

And yes, I get very jealous of others who don’t even realize how good they have it. I get angry when the privileged, pompous elite flaunt their wealth and flitter away their good fortune. But it gets me nowhere and I could cry a river of tears if I dwell on my woulda, coulda, shoulda moments. And in the end, I always realize that I am very fortunate in my life thanks to such an amazing family and group of friends.

So with these mushy, happy thoughts you would think I would never need another pick me up. But I am human, so I count my blessing again and find ways to laugh.

• Step 1: Realize Evan’s major meltdown in the grocery store was a way to stick it to the man. You want to raise the milk prices? Oh yeah, well my child can scream so loud that your patrons will flee the store in haste rather than purchase your over-priced impulse buys.
• Step 2: Play a one-hit wonder per day and remember all the bad style trends and hair don’ts that went with it. For example, we sang Push It on the soccer fields when I was a kid, as I rocked some major mall bangs. Probably helped me in defense when people passed out from close contact to all the aerosol.
• Step 3: Start a journal of Evan sayings. This will either be a mommy-mushy gift to him when he’s old enough or some really great blackmail material. Let’s see how his teen years go and then I’ll decide on how to wield this power.
• Step 4: Get all hopped up on sugar and junk food, then blame it on the baby’s cravings. Sorry, honey, you’ll never know when it’s real, but don’t you dare question me when I make you stop for a gyro at 8:30 at night.
• Step 5: Imagine my Baby Mojo (our nickname) as Pasta Tasty Oeters-Ferguson (Evan’s suggested name). You should have heard the ones we vetoed.
• Step 6: Plan my world domination where everyone must quote lines from the Princess Bride and my kingdom is the ultimate maze of Swiss Family Robinson-style tree houses. As you wish. I’ll ride the emu this time as I battle the Dread Pirate Roberts. (20 geek points if you could follow that one.)
• Step 7: Remember it could be worse. Look at The People of Wal-Mart and marvel at the horror.